Faraway… So Close!

Hardest thing I’ve ever done. Period. My S2B experience is a battle of wills … and won’ts. Cans and cant’s. While my compliance is near perfect on reading lessons, adopting habits and doing workouts (I’ve hit all my gym days), I’m constantly battling with myself because this process is the biggest mind f— I’ve ever experienced.

But I think that’s part of the idea. The coaches want us to be physically and mentally brawny by the end of the 12 months (next May).

However, last weekend the pressure got to me after I stepped on the scales and saw I hadn’t added any weight since the previous weigh-in a week earlier.

I had Saturday and Sunday off (two days in a row as a weekend is rare in my job working on the newspaper) so I decided to batch cook a load of white potatoes, brown rice and make two some slow cooker meals. The stews didn’t turn out so tasty and it was quite the struggle to stomach a pound of meat at lunch and dinner. Spending virtually the whole weekend on S2B stuff wasn’t such a great plan either.

Some days my goal of 30 extra pounds of lean muscle seems so far away. Other times, I feel like a boss, especially after I’ve p0lished off that dinner plate. Inside the gym, it almost feels easier for me than outside. That’s because as I gradually increase my loads, if I have a moment of doubt before I’m doing a particular exercise I remember the mantra when it comes to heavy weights… “If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t.”

Of course, that applies to everything else in life too. But don’t worry, I won’t go into the DMC (deep meaningful conversation) zone. But I do want to let readers inside my head cos it’s a challenging space.

The food is the hardest part for me. While my new diet has its benefits, it’s way harder than the diet most other guys in the program are on. At least in my experience. But I will conquer it … and for a couple of reasons that have little to do with the program.

For one, the dining options near work are pretty poor so I need to upgrade my caveman-like culinary skills anyway. Secondly, after I finish the program, the meal timing and frequency is close to what “normal” people eat in their everyday lives. So it”s in my interest to “man up” in the kitchen. To that end, I’m taking a one-night course on preparing sauces within the next few weeks.

I’m in this for the long haul and will get my 30lbs (even if it takes me longer than the program lasts… it all depends on how quickly my body adapts). So that will happen.

But after last weekend’s trials, I decided that I had to stop worrying about hitting my 0.75lb gain each week (to make the goal in time) and just follow the program and let the muscle come to me, as it were. Interestingly, this week we started a fortnight of S2B lessons on de-stressing. Timing was perfect for me. One of the methods is meditation, which to your average Irish male sounds way too New Agey, to put it politely. But they had a persuasive video which I’ll attach to this post.

I definitely need a timeout most days and I’m beginning to see the value of de-stressing.

On the upside, I stepped on the scales today and while I only gained half-a-pound, I”m now officially 8lbs heavier than when I started and have reached the 65kg mark… which is just 10kg (22lbs) from my goal. I’m also noticing more thickness all over, especially my legs and back.